Why I Sometimes Push Through: The Hidden Need for Closure

"You're doing too much."

"You need to slow down."

"You should rest."

As educators, parents, helping professionals, and leaders, many of us hear these messages regularly. While they are often well-intentioned, I have discovered something important about myself over the years:

I do not always push through because I am trying to do more.

Sometimes, I push through because I am trying to think less.

That may sound contradictory, but understanding this distinction has changed how I view productivity, stress, and even self-care.

The Unfinished Task That Won't Leave

Have you ever tried to relax while knowing there is something important waiting for you?

Maybe it's an email that needs a response.

A project deadline.

A report that needs to be completed.

A phone call you need to make.

A proposal that needs to be submitted.

Even when you are not actively working on it, the task remains present in the background. It quietly occupies mental space, pulling at your attention.

For some people, unfinished tasks can be set aside and revisited later. For others, those same tasks remain active in the mind long after they have stepped away.

Psychologists refer to this as the Zeigarnik Effect (2025), a phenomenon in which unfinished or interrupted tasks remain more cognitively active than completed ones. Named after psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik, the theory suggests that our brains naturally continue to hold onto incomplete tasks because they have not yet reached resolution.

In simple terms, unfinished tasks create mental tension.

Our minds continue to rehearse, organize, plan, and revisit them, often pulling attention away from the present moment. The task becomes another open tab in an already crowded browser.

I have realized that I fall into this category.

When something remains unfinished, my mind does not fully let it go. It continues to process the task in the background, consuming energy and attention. The result is not necessarily stress from the task itself.

The stress comes from carrying it.

The Difference Between Productivity and Closure

For a long time, I assumed my tendency to push through was simply a strong work ethic.

While there may be some truth to that, I now believe something else is happening as well. Many of us are not chasing productivity... We are chasing closure.

There is a significant difference.

Productivity says:

"I need to get more done."

Closure says:

"I need to stop carrying this."

When I complete a task, I experience something deeper than accomplishment.

I experience relief.

The mental energy that was being used to track, remember, and anticipate that task is released. My mind becomes quieter.

Not because there is nothing left to do... But because there is one less thing demanding my attention.

For many people, this realization can be incredibly freeing.

You may not be avoiding rest because you lack discipline.

You may not be pushing yourself because you are trying to prove something.

You may simply be seeking resolution.

Self-Awareness Before Self-Care

This realization reinforced something I often teach educators:

Self-awareness must come before self-care.

The problem is that many people start with the intervention before they identify the need.

We tell ourselves to meditate.

Take a walk.

Practice mindfulness.

Schedule self-care.

Set boundaries.

While all of these strategies can be beneficial, they may miss the mark if we do not first understand what is driving our stress.

The question is not:

"Why can't I relax?"

The question is:

"What is preventing me from relaxing?"

For me, the answer is often unresolved responsibilities.

For someone else, it may be anxiety, perfectionism, fear of failure, guilt, uncertainty, grief, or a need for control.

Different needs require different responses.

The intervention should match the need.

That is why self-awareness is so important.

When we understand what is happening beneath the surface, we can choose strategies that actually address the root issue rather than simply adding another item to our to-do list.

When Pushing Through Is Helpful

There are times when completing the task is the healthiest choice.

Sometimes spending thirty focused minutes finishing a project creates more peace than spending the next three days thinking about it.

In those moments, the goal is not productivity.... The goal is reducing cognitive load.

Completing the task creates closure, which frees up mental and emotional energy for other areas of life.

There is nothing inherently unhealthy about that.

In fact, it can be a very effective form of self-care when approached intentionally.

When Pushing Through Is Not Helpful

At the same time, not every unfinished task requires immediate action.

This is where self-awareness becomes essential.

Some tasks are urgent.

Others simply feel uncomfortable to leave unfinished.

Learning to distinguish between the two is an ongoing practice.

Not every open tab needs to be closed today.

Some tasks can wait.

Some can be delegated.

Some may not need to be completed at all.

The challenge is recognizing whether we are acting from intentional choice or from discomfort with uncertainty.

A Different Way to Think About Rest

Perhaps rest is not always about doing less.

Perhaps sometimes rest is created by reducing mental clutter.

Perhaps the goal is not simply to stop working.

Perhaps the goal is to understand what is occupying our attention in the first place.

When we develop that awareness, we can make intentional decisions rather than automatic ones. We can choose whether to complete the task, postpone it, delegate it, or let it go.

Understanding the Zeigarnik Effect (2025) has helped me become more compassionate with myself. Rather than labeling myself as someone who "can't relax," I recognize that my brain naturally seeks resolution.

That awareness allows me to make more intentional choices.

Sometimes the healthiest option is to finish the task and create closure.

Other times, it means consciously deciding that the task can wait and giving myself permission to revisit it later.

Both are valid.

Both require self-awareness.

And both can lead to something many of us are truly seeking:

A quieter mind.

Because sometimes the thing we need most is not more productivity.

It is closure.

~Dr. Abi

Reference:

Psychology Today. (2025). Zeigarnik effect. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/zeigarnik-effect