Why I Stopped Preaching “Self-Care” and Started Teaching Self-Awareness

For a long time, I was a big proponent of self-care. You know the message: take a bath, book the massage, wake up earlier, add yoga, journal more, meditate longer...

And then I realized something important.

For most busy adults, educators, parents, caregivers, professionals... self-care often feels like just another item on an already impossible to-do list.

When your days are full, your energy is limited, and your nervous system is already stretched, being told to add more can actually increase stress instead of reducing it.

So I shifted my approach.

Instead of self-care, I now focus on self-awareness.

Self-Care Adds. Self-Awareness Listens.

Self-awareness doesn’t require extra time, money, or planning. It doesn’t ask you to carve out an hour you don’t have.

Self-awareness asks one simple question:

What does my body need right now?

Our bodies are constantly communicating with us... but most of us have been conditioned to override those signals in the name of productivity, responsibility, or “pushing through.”

-Thirst becomes irritability.

-Hunger becomes fatigue.

-Overwhelm becomes shutdown, anxiety, or frustration.

Self-awareness invites us to pause just long enough to listen.

The Power of a 20–30 Second Pause

This doesn’t have to be complicated.

It can happen:

• Sitting in your car before walking into work

• In a parking lot

• In the bathroom

• At your desk

• Anywhere you can steal 20–30 seconds of quiet

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Take a Mindful Moment

Pause. Take one or two slow breaths. Do a quick body scan from head to toe.

No judgment. Just notice.

Step 2: Acknowledge the Need

Ask yourself:

• Am I thirsty?

• Am I hungry?

• Am I tense?

• Am I overwhelmed?

• Am I emotionally flooded?

Whatever comes up... acknowledge it!

Step 3: Meet the Need (Even on the Go)

This is where self-awareness becomes powerful.

• Thirsty? Drink water.

• Hungry? Grab a snack.

• Overwhelmed? Take a short walk, stretch, or text your work bestie.

• Tense? Drop your shoulders and unclench your jaw.

• Emotionally full? Take a few grounding breaths.

These are micro-responses, not grand gestures—and they matter.

Step 4: Practice Daily

Try to do this at least once a day.

Over time, something incredible happens.

You begin to train your brain and nervous system to recognize needs earlier. The pause becomes automatic. Meeting your needs becomes the norm... not an exception.

Eventually, you’ll do it without even thinking.

Your Body Isn’t the Problem—It’s the Messenger

So many adults live disconnected from their bodies because they’ve learned to ignore signals in order to survive busy lives. But your body isn’t failing you.

It’s communicating!

Self-awareness is about rebuilding trust with yourself... one small moment at a time.

Not more tasks. Not more pressure. Just listening and responding with care.

And that, in my experience, is far more sustainable than any bubble bath ever could be.

~Dr. Abi