Rooted and Resilient: Building Strength in Ourselves and Our Children

Resilience isn’t about bouncing back—it’s about standing strong. It’s the steady, quiet strength that carries us through adversity, change, disappointment, and even trauma. It’s the ability to adapt, grow, and keep going—not because life has been easy, but because we’ve learned how to stay grounded in the storm.

As parents, educators, and caregivers, we often focus on helping children become more resilient—but what we sometimes overlook is how essential it is to strengthen our own capacity first. We can’t teach what we haven’t practiced. Resilient adults are the foundation for resilient kids.

What Is Resilience?

Resilience is the capacity to recover from difficulty. It’s not about being tough or emotionless—it’s about being flexible and emotionally strong. It’s the difference between breaking under pressure and bending with the wind.

Think of it like a tree. A tree with deep roots can sway with the storm. But roots don’t grow on their own—they develop over time, nourished by supportive relationships, a sense of purpose, and the ability to regulate emotions.

Why Does Resilience Matter?

Life is full of challenges—some expected, some not. Resilience helps us:

• Navigate stress without becoming overwhelmed

• Maintain hope during hard times

• Solve problems more creatively

• Support others while still caring for ourselves

For children, resilience is critical. It shapes how they view themselves and the world around them. It helps them cope with academic pressures, social struggles, and family changes. And most importantly, it sets the stage for long-term mental health and success.

Building Resilience in Ourselves

We can’t pour from an empty cup. Here are a few ways adults can deepen their own resilience:

• Practice Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a dear friend. Progress is not linear, and mistakes are part of growth.

• Build a Support Network: Connection is a protective factor. Cultivate relationships with people who see you, hear you, and hold space for your experiences.

• Strengthen Emotional Awareness: Pause and name what you’re feeling. Emotions are data, not directives.

• Engage in Meaningful Work: Purpose builds resilience. Whether it’s in parenting, teaching, or serving others, meaning helps us persist.

Helping Children Build Resilience

We don’t build resilience for children—we build it with them. It begins in everyday moments, not just the big ones. Here’s how:

• Model It: Children learn resilience by watching us. Show them how you handle stress, ask for help, and keep going when things are hard.

• Create Safe, Predictable Spaces: Safety and consistency are the soil resilience grows in. Routines, boundaries, and warm relationships are key.

• Validate Emotions: Don’t rush to “fix” things. Instead, help kids name what they feel and remind them they are capable of working through it.

• Celebrate Effort, Not Just Outcome: Encourage persistence and problem-solving. Let them see that growth comes from trying, failing, and trying again.

The Takeaway

Resilience isn’t about avoiding struggle—it’s about moving through it with courage, support, and adaptability. When we strengthen resilience in ourselves, we become living examples of stability and hope for the children around us. And when we nurture resilience in them, we give them the greatest gift of all: the belief that no matter what life brings, they can endure, adapt, and grow.

~Dr. Abi